The Sugarcoated Truth: When Friends Enable Bad Behaviour
Do you hate your friends?
You are probably thinking, “What kind of question is that, Denovia?” Well, I have to ask because the Bible says, “A lying tongue hates its victims, and a flattering mouth works ruin.” Proverbs 26:28 ESV. If you do not hate your friends, why do you flatter them?
I can recall speaking with someone, and after telling me the truth, they said, “I don’t mind if you are mad at me, but I have to tell you the truth.” This person was so convinced that I would be upset with them. Little did the person know that while they were speaking, I was smiling from ear to ear on the other end of the call. At that moment, I realized I appreciated the truth.
I appreciated the boldness of that individual to risk sparing my feelings about them. The Bible tells us that “Whoever rebukes a man will afterward find more favor than he who flatters with his tongue.” Proverbs 28:23 ESV. We may think that flattery will ensure you have friends, but telling the truth ensures you have real friends around you who desire to hear the truth.
The truth may not always be received well by others, but that should always be the way we go about things. To be honest, I have not always responded well to hearing the truth from that same individual, especially when someone did something and I wanted them to be on my side. It would take a day or more for me to surrender to God. Then, of course, God would assure me the individual was right and I was in the wrong. Then, I would have to go back to the person who told me the truth, apologizing and thanking them for telling me the truth. No wonder they thought I would be upset with them. I share all that to say we must grow in how we respond to the truth.
Comparing that experience to another one I had, where the individual used flattery to mask the truth. I remember feeling and thinking, “I don’t know if I can trust you.” That person might have thought I would be more pleased with them if they flattered me, but the opposite happened. For me, the person who was bold enough to tell me the truth when they thought I would be upset with them is the kind of person I do not want to let go of. A true friend will tell you the truth even when it is not what you want to hear.
To grow, you need friends who will tell you the truth. A person who loves you will tell you the truth. Truth is of God, and flattery is from the devil, the father of lies. If you are someone who opts to flatter instead of telling the truth, remember, as a Christian, you have to “Choose this day whom you will serve” Joshua 24:15 ESV. May these words be your prayer and true of you also, “I will not show partiality to any man or use flattery toward any person. For I do not know how to flatter, else my Maker would soon take me away.” Job 32:21-22 ESV.
I would like to hear your testimony of flattering friends.
Your Grow With Me Sister,
~Denovia McKenzie